The Gift of Time Together

I'm sure many of you have read the book The Five Love Languages. Well, if you haven't, ask someone who has, or read it yourself the next time you have a minute to better understand this Blog entry, and of course to better understand yourself and those you love.

MY love languages are quality time and physical touch. So this weekend I was filled up with love - I was able to spend some time with Sean!!! What an incredible gift that was for me (and for Sean, but I won't speak for him). First to have my husband scoop me up in his arms and hold me felt exhilerating - and we hadn't even left the airport!! But holding his hand in the car, looking into his eyes when he smiled, and of course talking and laughing in person gave me a renewed sense of energy and made me feel so loved and special. The entire weekend was that way - seeing him working on his laptop felt great - I could SEE him!!! Taking long walks holding hands was amazing. Cooking together, sharing meals together, or just praying together while holding one another....nothing in my time away from Sean has made me feel as loved as this weekend did!!! And Sean shows me he loves me constantly when we're apart - cards, music, emails, webcam chats, text messages.....his love is so apparent to me daily, but being in his physical presence was awesome.

A few years ago 3 of my Uptown girlfriends and I went to the Dominican for a week away, and even though we had all read The Five Love Languages, we read it together again as one of our books to read and chat about. We decided (all being single at the time), that these love languages were important even as single women....we wanted to learn how to love one another better as friends. It was wonderful. Of course, with physical touch for me being significant, the ladies asked for clarification on how to care for me - hugs are always treasured, but from a distance, I explained, the best way for my friends to love me is to follow the old AT&T adage "reach out and touch someone" and just call me. It was the long distance hug for me.

I am blogging about this only because it strikes me as I am revelling in my time with Sean and anticipating his visit to California in October, that understanding and prioritizing YOUR OWN love language, AND that of those around you, can completely transform relationship. It can turn difficult times in a marriage around, it can reconnect friends, it can re-bond a parent and their teenage child, it can stretch you in a dating relationship. Sean and I are already conscious of our love language needs, but experiencing the blessing of them in abundance this weekend really reminded me of how God created us uniquely as individuals, but also blessed us with the ability to learn about one another and give to each other as we need to be.

Pause and consider your love language.....physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, or acts of service....and now pause and consider the love language of 3 or 4 people you love the most. How can you better show them love this week in a way that is meaningful to them? How can you encourage them to love you in ways that are meaningful to you? Consider how God takes time to show you how much HE loves you, by communicating in small ways to you through your love language.....if you haven't paid attention before, you will be amazed at how he is loving you constantly!!

A great weekend!!

What a wonderful weekend I had! It mainly entailed work, but it was the location of my studies that made it such a great few days. Since I am studying in California, it seems ridiculous to stay indoors and work, so I have been going to the beach, sitting at cafe's near the water, or hanging out on the bluffs watching the surfers and reading or writing. INCREDIBLE!


I even took a break tonight to hang out with my friends, Andrea, Jim, Allie and Reid....it was a great end to an energizing weekend....here is a quick image mentage of our evening...


Allie, Andrea and Jim (he broke his wrist on Friday night skateboarding....not HIS greatest weekend)


Here's Reid drying off after a great boogie boarding session!


Allie loves to read....Andrea is sneaking a peak at the literature-du-jour...


I just love this picture....goodnight!

God works through the homeless

Today was an amazing day and tonight was even more incredible! After an emotionally difficult weekend (I miss Sean the most on the weekends), God showed me so much love, and corrected my selfish attitude so gently but clearly.

This morning I was able to power walk with Andrea (we are trying to fit that in daily), then we pulled out some scrapbooking stuff and challenged ourselves to do some work on it....I completed my first two pages of scrapbooking ever and I was sooo proud of myself! I felt like I had accomplished something and it felt great. It sounds trite writing about it, but it meant so much to me. We polished off the first half of the day by providing delicious nutrients to our body with this sensational salad Andrea made us....I was energized and ready to go!!

God and I had some quality one on one time after that, and I went into my class tonight with a new attitude. I decided that even though I am "new" and don't know anybody, doesn't mean I can't try to know people and try to get them to know me. We don't need to know one another inside and out to make it worth while, but I wanted those around me to experience me and give me the chance to experience them. I felt like myself again - I was friendly!! And I reminded myself about the challenge of meeting people at church....it was because no one approached me...so how dare I fail to approach people everywhere else in my life? Nothing earth shattering happened at school, but I felt better. Thank you Lord!!

Right after class I drove downtown San Diego where I met up with a group of people from Flood who meet on Monday evenings to provide food, drinks, friendship, and the love of Jesus with those who are homeless in San Diego. It was a very stretching evening for me, as I knew it would be. I believe in this sort of ministry, but have always supported it from a distance because it was so far out of my comfort zone....and so that is why I went tonight. As I felt invisible at church last weekend, I KNOW the homeless of any city feel invisible to people constantly....and that is wrong. These men and women I met tonight have hopes, have dreams, and for the most part, have just fallen on some difficult times. I met some great people. I felt soo incredibly blessed by their kindness back to me and thanked so many people for just letting me hang out with them. As car after car drove past us, I was struck by the fact that at age 32, for the first time in my life, I really paused to get to know a person who was just sitting or sleeping on the streets I drive every day! How many people have I ignored or missed? Too many....and I know I will miss many more. But just as my previous blog reminded me....Jesus wants us to be inconvenienced, and stopping to care for those who need care is a great reason to be inconvenienced.

I pray I will have the courage to go back next week. It was definitely uncomfortable for me. I saw bugs I didn't want to think about...I smelled things I didn't want to smell, I felt dirtier than I have felt in a long time....and I felt so cleansed by their humanity. The contrast is stark. The reality was emotionally overwhelming. The need to pray continues to intensify as I spoke with these people, and as I reflect on them now. I pray for Lee, for Stanley, Leon, James, Victor, Keith, and so many other men and women I met tonight. And I am grateful for the group of Flood members who keep this Monday night ministry going. These men and women on the streets wait for them each week.

Thank you Father for convicting me of my selfishness in wanting to be visible while I overlooked so many who were invisible to me! Thank you Lord for reminding me that being friendly and warm and open are gifts you have given me, and that it is ALWAYS my responsibility to use those gifts. Thank you for your patience with me as I slowly learn your will and start to apply it to my life. I pray you will continue to correct me with your gentle way with a fervency that reminds me of the passion you have called me to have in how I live my life for Christ.

Being THE NEW GIRL

It seems almost impossible to believe it has been nearly 2 weeks since my last entry - so much has happened around here. That is the reality of being "the new girl" I suppose! Everything seems like a big deal.

Quickly, my first intensive week of school went well, I had a wonderful Labour Day Weekend relaxing with my friend Andrea, her husband Jim, and their kids Allie and Reid (I can't imagine being away from everyone without having them so close by!), and then jumped in to the first week of my fall semester. PHEW!! What's even crazier, is today, I won't be blogging about any of that.

In addition to school and social adventures, I have found a great church to attend while I am away from The Meeting House. It is called FLOOD, and has many similarities to TMH. Last Sunday was my first weekend service, then this Thursday I went to my new Community Group (equivalent to our Home Church model), and I am signed up for the newcomers lunch, have asked to be put on the list for Welcome and for Growth Group Leadership Training (to lead a small group of 4-6 women for 4-6 months in prayer and accountability). Sound like I am all connected?

I'm not! I showed up last Sunday, a little nervous, but mainly really excited to meet new people and start to connect with a community of believers again. I asked this cool looking guy (turns out he's an ex-navy seal!) if I could bring coffee into service....much like at TMH, he laughed and said they would go down in attendance by 50% if they didn't allow it.....and suggested I enjoy some of their complimentary coffee by the Welcome area. GREAT, I thought....a friendly guy and free coffee....he showed me the coffee, and I was surrounded by about 5 or 6 more really cool looking guys and girls. YAY, I thought....MY PEOPLE!! I wasn't wrong - they all seem really great, but unfortunately, they were so busy connecting, getting caught up on each others week, and setting up for Sunday service (they are also a portable church model), that not one person welcomed me, smiled at me, introduced themselves to me or acknowledged me in any way. I waited around as people started filling in to the general area waiting for the doors to open for service - again, it felt like TMH - young, great people with lots of energy, loving Jesus, each other, and drinking coffee in shorts or jeans.....but they weren't talking to me. I felt invisible.

I entered the theater (in a school) for service, and officially received a smile and handshake from the first greeter and then a bulletin from the next greeter and sat by myself. I did not feel greeted. We paused after an AWESOME worship set to welcome one another....obediently the people in front and behind me and those seated 4 or 5 seats away from me all leaned over, smiled and shook my hand....but no one asked later if I was new (after all I was sitting all alone), or struck up conversation.

The message was terrific - Daniel 1, 1-16....we are talking about Transformation. Loved it!! More worship during offering, closing prayer....and then out to the Welcome area again for juice, muffins and social time....so I took some juice and looked around for people to be social with....they were all doing a GREAT job socializing...just not with the new person.

Not one to be ignored, I went up to the person on Welcome Duty, told him it was my first time, signed up for some stuff and asked a bunch of questions....he never asked my name or offered me his.....

All this to say, I think Flood is an amazing community and am soooo excited to be there! What it drove home for me was how at The Meeting House Uptown we are also an AMAZING community, but I am certain there are new people who are experiencing what I experienced on Sunday. Because I have my TMH Uptown family and know I am loved and because I understand how easy it is to be preoccupied on a Sunday morning, I was not upset or angry...but I am sure there have been people who have come, excited and nervous to Uptown for the first time, and never returned because no one noticed them.

Jesus noticed everyone - significant and seemingly insignificant. He interrupted his scheduled plans or intended direction constantly to pause and connect relationally with someone new. This is also what he calls us to do...not just when it is convenient, but ESPECIALLY when it is INCONVENIENT! When people you haven't seen all week are milling around and you want to see them, when FAST has to get done and a new person is in the way, when Prayer is starting before service and you don't have time to say hello to the new person, when you are in service and don't know the person to your left so you talk to the person on your right, when you are hungry and want to arrange lunch plans with friends after service and see a guy or girl out of the corner of your eye just standing around, or when you are working the Welcome desk and someone asks a generic question so you only answer that and avoid getting into a relational conversation. THOSE ARE THE TIMES JESUS WANTS US TO STOP AND BE INCONVENIENCED!!!!

I challenge all of us, myself included, to pause this Sunday, and next Sunday, and look for the unfamiliar face, and make time to connect. Some people may keep coming out without knowing anyone, but eventually, if YOU don't reach out, they will give up. This Sunday, even though it is only my 2nd week at Flood, I am going to look for someone who seems awkward and try and connect with them.

I continue to pray for Uptown and miss our community. Thank you for your prayers, they are reaching me in abundance!!! God is pouring love on me daily here and I am sooo grateful.