God works through the homeless

Today was an amazing day and tonight was even more incredible! After an emotionally difficult weekend (I miss Sean the most on the weekends), God showed me so much love, and corrected my selfish attitude so gently but clearly.

This morning I was able to power walk with Andrea (we are trying to fit that in daily), then we pulled out some scrapbooking stuff and challenged ourselves to do some work on it....I completed my first two pages of scrapbooking ever and I was sooo proud of myself! I felt like I had accomplished something and it felt great. It sounds trite writing about it, but it meant so much to me. We polished off the first half of the day by providing delicious nutrients to our body with this sensational salad Andrea made us....I was energized and ready to go!!

God and I had some quality one on one time after that, and I went into my class tonight with a new attitude. I decided that even though I am "new" and don't know anybody, doesn't mean I can't try to know people and try to get them to know me. We don't need to know one another inside and out to make it worth while, but I wanted those around me to experience me and give me the chance to experience them. I felt like myself again - I was friendly!! And I reminded myself about the challenge of meeting people at church....it was because no one approached me...so how dare I fail to approach people everywhere else in my life? Nothing earth shattering happened at school, but I felt better. Thank you Lord!!

Right after class I drove downtown San Diego where I met up with a group of people from Flood who meet on Monday evenings to provide food, drinks, friendship, and the love of Jesus with those who are homeless in San Diego. It was a very stretching evening for me, as I knew it would be. I believe in this sort of ministry, but have always supported it from a distance because it was so far out of my comfort zone....and so that is why I went tonight. As I felt invisible at church last weekend, I KNOW the homeless of any city feel invisible to people constantly....and that is wrong. These men and women I met tonight have hopes, have dreams, and for the most part, have just fallen on some difficult times. I met some great people. I felt soo incredibly blessed by their kindness back to me and thanked so many people for just letting me hang out with them. As car after car drove past us, I was struck by the fact that at age 32, for the first time in my life, I really paused to get to know a person who was just sitting or sleeping on the streets I drive every day! How many people have I ignored or missed? Too many....and I know I will miss many more. But just as my previous blog reminded me....Jesus wants us to be inconvenienced, and stopping to care for those who need care is a great reason to be inconvenienced.

I pray I will have the courage to go back next week. It was definitely uncomfortable for me. I saw bugs I didn't want to think about...I smelled things I didn't want to smell, I felt dirtier than I have felt in a long time....and I felt so cleansed by their humanity. The contrast is stark. The reality was emotionally overwhelming. The need to pray continues to intensify as I spoke with these people, and as I reflect on them now. I pray for Lee, for Stanley, Leon, James, Victor, Keith, and so many other men and women I met tonight. And I am grateful for the group of Flood members who keep this Monday night ministry going. These men and women on the streets wait for them each week.

Thank you Father for convicting me of my selfishness in wanting to be visible while I overlooked so many who were invisible to me! Thank you Lord for reminding me that being friendly and warm and open are gifts you have given me, and that it is ALWAYS my responsibility to use those gifts. Thank you for your patience with me as I slowly learn your will and start to apply it to my life. I pray you will continue to correct me with your gentle way with a fervency that reminds me of the passion you have called me to have in how I live my life for Christ.